Finding Your Tribe
Someone I know, an escaped lawyer who is now doing an MBA said to me the other day that when she looked around her on the course she realized this – that though she was enjoying the intellectual challenge, what frustrates her about her MBA colleagues was that they were not her tribe.
Then she looked at the people she surrounds herself by. She realized her friends were all actors, musicians, writers.
Now lets look at her. She’s flamboyant, generous, creative, with a fabulous business brain.
Trouble is she was using that business brain in un-flamboyant , un-generous, uncreative places surrounded by un-flamboyant; uncreative people. They were not her tribe
It made the penny drop for her. She’s worked out what she wants to do – she’s going to use her commercial savvy working in the arts. And the natural fit for that? An agent or a producer.
It fits. I can see it. It’s easy to see it. It’s her. It’s where she belongs.
It’s a powerful thing this tribe thing. There’s been loads of writing about it and marketers especially love it for obvious reasons.
The Wikipedia definition is this: A tribe is viewed, historically or developmentally, as a social group existing before the development of, or outside of, states. Many anthropologists used the term tribal society to refer to societies organized largely on the basis of kinship
Kinship. That’s what it is. To be around people that are like you. Where you CONNECT. Where you BUY IN. Where you FIT. Where you EXPRESS your full self. Where you GROW. Where you’re AT HOME. It’s not geographical. It’s a kinship of spirit, of being, of expression, of the things you care about, of who you are. Nor is it an ‘us and them’, or a superior or inferior thing. It’s just a natural gravitation towards people like you.
So, out of curiosity I had a look at my good friends. And a little chill ran down my spine. NONE of them (myself included) had a PROPER JOB (i.e paid a wage by an employer in an office). We all do different things: vintage fashion retailer; street artist; travel writer; interior designer; ceramist, voice-over pro. On the surface it may not look like it hangs together. But here’s the thread – we are all WITHOUT EXCEPTION self employed, quirky, creative, passionate, energetic, free agents, not interested in rules or routine and love being different. They’re my tribe. It was extraordinary to see it in that way, so CLEARLY.
Clue: Whichever way you come at it, whether it’s the environments you’re attracted to, the things you’re interested in and care about, the lifestyle you want, the talents you’d love to express – they’re all leading you, drawing you, gravitationally, magnetically towards your tribe…