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How To Find Your Ideal Partner/Job In 5 Steps

One of my girlfriends keeps sending  me tips on how to find your ideal partner – I’m happily partnered, but she likes to keep me abreast of her latest dating strategies. This latest from pinged from her into my mail box and it struck me that there’s alot in common with how to find your ideal job… The bits in pink are my additions – the rest the original article. Change men/women references depending on you of course!

Step 1 – Ask yourself: Where is my ideal man at the weekend? Where do people who do the sort of jobs I fancy hang out?

A lot of women who go to nightclubs every week complain that they don’t meet guys who enjoy art galleries! If you want to find your ideal guy, the best exercise I can recommend is to ask yourself this: What is my ideal guy doing on a Saturday evening? And then get yourself down to these places!
The point is to make sure that when you do meet guys, you meet the right kind of guys.
Don’t scour the newspapers, looking for jobs that are frankly similar to what you DON’T want or to what you do already. Seek out the people who do what you’re interested in and find out how they got there. Better still DO the stuff you want to do, unpaid, volunteer, sell it, sign up. You never know who you’ll meet in the process and where it will lead to and you’ll learn alot while you’re at it

Step 2 – Integrate other men into your peer group Remember: Guys know other guys!
Remember someone you know will know someone who does what you’d like to do (even if you don’t know EXACTLY what that is yet)

You might have men at work who you’re not attracted to but who possess attributes you look for in a partner.If you like butch rugby guys and someone at work happens to be a rugby player, head down to one of his parties, or a rugby dinner he’s having.The more you expand your social circle this way the more you expose yourself to men with the attributes you’re looking for.
Ditto. It’s not who YOU know, it’s who the PEOPLE YOU KNOW know. In other words the worlds you are interested in are closer than you think. And if you ask your friends, you’ll find they are connected in ways you never expect.

Step 3 – Start being a social animal in EVERY area of your life
Start being an inquiring animal in EVERY area of your life

Make conversation everywhere. Start to get to know everyone in your life. When you go to a bar, say hello to the doorman. Ask the barman how his night is going.
The more you get chatty the more you go into a sociable state where it becomes easy to talk to anybody. Stop googling your way to what you should do for a living and TALK to people instead.Find out what other people do. Be open. Your world starts to open up and you get contacts, ideas and opportunities that would never come your way if you keep it all to yourself or limit your research to your bookmarks bar

Step 4 – Get out of your comfort zone.
Yes, get out of your comfort zone

There’s an old saying: If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results.
This is also true of dating. You have to get outside of what feels safe.One great way to do this is to make a habit of saying “YES” to every opportunity that presents itself over the next month. If someone invites you to do something that you wouldn’t normally do, just say yes. You won’t believe where it can lead you.
Guaranteed if you’re reading this, it’s likely because you haven’t REALLY got out of your comfort zone yet. You haven’t really pitched to a company you’re interested in working for, you haven’t actually experimented with that business idea or tested it in the ‘real world’, you haven’t gone to talk to someone who does something you maybe interested in doing. Right?

Step 5 – Awareness
Turn your radar ON

Opportunities will present themselves to you if you know how to spot them
If you see a guy on the train with a book you’ve read, that’s an open invitation for conversation and you’ll know you have something in common! Start looking for the little ways to connect with men and you’ll start seeing them everywhere.

It’s a bit like noticing that suddenly everyone’s driving the same car you’ve just bought. Our world becomes what we focus on. Shift your focus to what you want to do (even if you don’t know exactly what yet you’ll have some ideas you can work with) and see what happens…


And by the way, your ideal job much like love, may turn out to be a very different thing than you expect and take you quite by surprise..